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Dr. Ted said...

Mind Gym

Mental Floss

Past Dr. Ted Said...

To Bee or Not To Bee

Identity Crisis

Questions

QUESTIONS

Over the past two months I have received and responded to many e-mail requests. The overwhelming majority of these have been from fathers concerned
about the possibility of their children experiencing emotional damage as a result of stuff going on in the family.

This paragraph is an attempt on my part to reach a large number of such fathers at once. I think that the greatest gift you can give a child is a happy and healthy intact family. If there is hope of achieving this, go for it with every resource at your disposal. I do not, however, believe in staying together for the children. Children need happy and satisfied parents. What children really get from their parents is their parent's mood. Happiness, satisfaction, pride, confidence, and good self-esteem are contagious. If you experience these things then your children have a good chance of catching them from you. If you remain in a prolonged state of misery, this too is contagious. The best way to take care of your children is to take care of yourself. If my mood really depended on putting my car in the garage, the ping pong table would still be in Sears. Know what's important to you and what isn't. Also, know that the only one walking in your shoes is you! Be wary of advice. Sift through what I and others write, or say, and find the path that works for you.

Send your questions to Dr. Ted at: drtedsaid@fathersworld.com

Dr. Ted Horowitz is a psychotherapist who specilaizes in coaching divorced and widowed parents to manage their lives with optimum effectiveness. His practice is in Queens and Port Jefferson Station, NY. He is a single father of four.

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