Full-Time Dads;
The E-Magazine for Caregiver Fathers
Issue 2, originally appeared in print - June 1991
Paternity Leave
The Equal Employment Opponunity Commission has ruled that fathers and mothers must be offered the same child care leave previously a federal court has made the same decision. Only 14 states mandate gender-blind leave policies.
The April 30, 1991 issue of the Wall Street Journal states a rise in the support for employee paternity leave citing a DuPont survey of 8,500 workers that shows 56% of the male employees are interested in flexible work options, an increase of 1% from 5 years ago. DuPont, to its credit, does offer its employees a one year family leave.
U.S. Census
According to the U.S. Census Bureau the fastest growing "non-traditional household type" is that of the single father, up 82% from 1980. Even with this increase single fathers still only represent 1.5% of all American households.
Paternal Affection
The April issue of the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology presented the results of the longest study to trace how paren tal warmth in early childhood affects the social development of adults.The lead author is Carol Franz, a Harvard University psychologist who devel- oped the results with psychologists David Mcaelland of Boston Univer- sity and Joel Weinberg of Adelphi Uni- versity.
The results of this 36 year long study show that fathers have just as much influence as do mothers in their children's development. Fathers who are affectionate, hug, cuddle and kiss their children help to ensure that their children will have closer and happier social ties when they grow up.
Children who receive this affection from their parents, whether they are mothers or fathers, have closer marriages and friendships, in adulthood.The authors also cite that they can predict these children to have better mental health and more work success. A mothers affection had no greater affect over the long term than an affectionate relationship with the father. As would be expected, those who received affection from both parents tended to be the best adjusted of all.
Two likely causes for this link between a parents affection toward their children and the child's' development of social skills are the modeling the child learns and the attachment the children develop. Children model the nurturing they experience which fosters warm relationships when they become adults and children who experience a strong sense of attachment with their parents develop a stronger sense of internal security that enables them to engage other people socially when they are adults rather then withdraw.
These results are a part of the growing evidence that fathers have a more important role in shaping their children's lives than had been tradition- ally believed.
Progressive Policy
"Putting Children First, a 1990 report from the Progressive Policy Institute assessed that new governmental programs are needed to strengthen the two parent family. "Public programs cannot substitute for heathy families and should not try." Some suggestions for strengthening these families include increasing the personal exemption for children, thus enabling families to put their income back into the family. Another suggestion was to cut social security taxes which hit the middle class the hardest."
Marriage Breakdown
A study presented to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy looking for ways to predict marriage breakdown found that men who do housework are healthier than those that don't. The four year study reponed that male househelpers are less stressed, less likely to be overwhelmed by their wives emotions and are more likely to bring problems out into the open. All these are indications of a healthy marriage.
Does this mean that we're going to live longer due to our jobs? Slngle fathers generally believe they are doing a good job and that they have less difficulty with child-rearing and household work than the "average" father. Children of these fathers rate them more nurturant than children in two parent households.
Single Fathers
Robert B. McCall - Director of the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development and author of INFANTS points out that single fathers are not typical fathers. For example, he cites that they are better educated. Hold more prestigious jobs, and eam more money than fathers in two parent families, obvious reasons they receive custody in many cases. Single fathers tend to be older, 35- 50 years old and typically they do not suffer as much as single mothers because they take their jobs with them when they leave with the children. Men are also less likely to seek companionship and support of other single men instead relying on professlonal resources and community resources.
Slngle fathers generally believe they are doing a good job and that they have less difficulty with child-rearing and household work than the "average" father. Children of these fathers rate them more nurturant than children in two parent households.
Teachable Moments in Drug Abuse Prevention
There are good times for parents to share messages of prevention and chemical health with young children.
For example, on the occasion of giving a young child a prescription medicine or over-the-counter medicine for say. a headache or sore throat, two things can happen.
First, we could simply say, "Take this, honey, youll feel better." While the message seems harmless enough, it doesn't convey enough of the standards, rules and consequences regarding medicines and drugs in the family.
Speakng to a child, the adult could alter the message just slightly and convey a message of prevention and chemical health in this way. "Look, honey, the doctor has given us some medicine and the pharmacist at the drug store mixed it for us. If we follow the words that are on the bottle it will help you get better soon. Following the doctors orders and the drug store rules is the only way to take medicine. Otherwise, it's dangerous and can make you sick."
The words in the above scene need to be changed according to what is natural for each parent, adult andchild. However, the message should be clear: there are rules and consequences for taking all drugs including medicines.
The above scene may not sound significant at first glance, but related in a very natural, teachable moment setting dozens of time over the early formative years of a child can and will shape his or her view about how we live in a world with drugs.
For reasons that become much clearer later during a child's early adolescent years, the "take this, honey you'll feel better message is not good enough'
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