Full-Time Dads;
The E-Magazine for Caregiver Fathers
Issue 4, originally appeared in print - October 1991
Some clarifications are apparently in order. Due to comments I've heard from a number of dads there appears to be a bit of a question about what constitutes a full-time dad. I've felt all along that anyone who responds to the name is, in fact, a full-time dad. I will take a moment to expand upon my feelings on what it takes to be a full-time dad.
It takes 40 hours a week to be considered a full-time employee, you don't have to spend 24 hours a day to be considered full-time in that respect, just as you don't have to spend 24 hours a day with your children to be a full-time dad. You know the numbers that are thrown around-- the "average" American father spends 173 minutes per week "interacting" with his children; that, my friends, is not full-time.
Any father who takes his children's care as a top priority is a full-time dad. Whether he works outside the home is not the issue, the issue isn't just the hours involved, it's how those hours are spent. It's easy to be a father. It takes love to be a dad. Add time and devotion and you have a fulltime dad.
As the publisher of this magazine I do work beyond child care, it takes a lot of time to put this all together but it's isn't my primary identity. I am a full-time dad who also publishes a magazine. There are vast numbers of us who don't have the opportunity, due to financial, social, and personal reasons, to be with our kids as much as we want. There are those of us who know that tossing a softball for a half hour or taking the kids to a movie doesn't do much for the parent/child relationship. When a dad knows his children; who they really are, what they really feel, who their friends and teachers are, what they need as people and what they spend .heir time doing, he gains rreat insight into these children's lives, he is a fulltime dad. When he considers it his role in the family, and not his duty, to take his children to the doctor, feed them meals, clothe them, know their friends, maintain their homes, conference with their teachers, lead them in activities in and out of the home, and in general, place their needs at a level equal to his own, he is indeed a fulltime dad.
I can't imagine my identity being anything other than a full-time dad. It's easier to say I'm a publisher, but it's not what I consider my life to be about. If other fathers are uncomfortable with my role it's probably really due to their discomfort with their roles in their children's lives, not with what I do.
It may not be easy, but it's certainly worth every minute of it.
What could be more important?
Copyright 1991 Chris Stafford
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Contact Chris Stafford via e-mail to ftd@visi.com