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If "Full-Time Dads" implies being the primary caregiver, then I wish to be removed from the mailing list. My intent is to be an equal parent with my partner, which I could be regardless of who is the so-called primary caregiver. I am a full-time dad regardless of whether my child is with me at the time, because being a father is a full time occupation.
James M. Lager
Because parenting isn't a hobby! Ha! You hit the nail on the head there!!! I have a special fondness for your magazine topic because my husband stayed at home with our 3 kids for 18 months. He no longer complains when the laundry doesn't get done. Of course, now we fight over who has to stay at home when school is out, when kids are sick, etc. There's no school tomorrow and we compromised. We're both taking the day off to take the kids fishing.
Angela Adair
Last week while at the bank making a deposit, my son, announced, to the whole bank, "Dad, I made a poop!" Heads turned, the "What's he gonna do, now?" blazing in their eyes. I slipped out of line and asked the manager if there was a place for me to change his diaper. The kind & sensitive Bank Manager directed me to the Employees bathroom. I thanked her, commenting that they were truely a full service bank. A nearby teller, laughed and said,"If we were truely a full service bank, we would change the diaper for you!"
Art Margolis
I think a major barrier to dads doing what we do is that it's a violation of the beliefs we grew up with - boys are not cultualized to be fathers as girls are to be mothers. This stereotyping prevents boys from following their innate nurturing feelings, and our culture is suffering from the damage caused by these standards. I would like to SEE Full-Time Dads help TO educate and change boys & men to understand the value they provide to families and children. The primary focus of Full-Time Dads should be the education, support and motivation of men to be the father they want to be for their children. Recognizing the need and the importance of breaking the stereotypical roles, lack of male culturalization, and role models that limit fathers from being active and involved in their children's lives. The importance of what this brings to the father is something that also is frequently left out.
Chris Stafford
There was an interesting article a couple of weeks ago in the New York Times about how parents are using their workplace as an escape from their family. People do not work long hours because they have to, the article says, but because they want to (to get away from their kids). I found the article interesting because a) it made me feel good about being home and b) I know of people who fit the mold of the article.
Harry Chefitz
It's a wacky world out there. There's lots of lip service about family values but what this society really values is a full time employee. The argument, to me, parallels the notion of how we sanitize our lives. We don't want to get messy with the details of our lives. Send the kids to daycare, send grandma and grandpa to the nursing home, and get back to work. There are things in life more important, even if dealing with them makes us confront ourselves, than going to work.
Jim DiCenzo
We had talked for many long nights about the days when we would have kids. When we found out that those days were rapidly approaching, the discussion of who would be home with them came up. I had thought about it for a long time and even wondered if there was a possibility I could actually do this and pull it off. For me personally, it was not going to be a great stretch, I had been doing housework, laundry and such since I was a kid, but for the most part, being responsible for it all, plus the cooking was going to be another matter all together! Imagine my suprise when I was expected to clean the bathroom too! I had made no real plans as to what would happen when the kids went to school. As far as I'm concerned, my job will continue and be just as important if not more so when they DO go to school. One of the things I missed as a kid was having involved parents in my life. As early as I can remember, we were always doing the latch-key thing. I hated coming home to an empty house and yet, I hated staying at school. I don't want that kind of environment for my kids. Though, they may not always come home, I want them to know that home will be the sanctuary for them it should be. Society says the days of June Cleaver etc. are long gone, but my question to society is, do they have to be? Now I certainly don't look like June, don't get me wrong, but can we not recreate the same type of home that they did? I do not think it is impossible just because our predecessors have been women.
Steve Klem, Fla.
Having declined my son's offer of a piece of gum, he asked why I never chew gum. "Simple,"I replied, "Fear of losing a filling." rather than explain it all to him, I took the gum. After about five minutes, I lost, not a filling, but a cap! I had a party to attend that night, and fortunately my dentist, Dr. Dull (real name), was in and available. "Will it hurt?" Andrew wanted to know. "Of course not," the dentist told him, "We'll fix him right up and you can help." After my cap was back in place, Dr. Dull asked Andrew how much they should charge. "A penny," Andrew replied, producing one from his pocket.
The dentist accepted the payment, and offered to look in Andrews mouth. "You can't, I don't have any more money" Andrew replied. The smiling dentist gave his new assistant a freebie. This unexpected & enjoyable outing has prompted my son to offer me gum, so we can go see Dr. Dull.
Robert Wolfarth
I am so glad to hear you are there! We have put up with a lot of strange comments, looks, etc. on account of our roles. Having Ken be the primary care giver, and me the breadwinner just seems so natural, it's hard to believe everyone else around us thinks it is so unusual. I never claimed to be a writer, but I just wanted to relate a small part of what our family has been like since my husband became a Full-Time House Dad.
Laura Ward, IL
See Laura's story in Sosahd section, let's hear from more of you! - james
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