Issue Index
Full-Time Dads;
The Magazine for Caregiver Fathers
Issue 13, originally appeared in print - January 1995
Every now and then my kids watch TV shows like the Power Rangers or Mutant Turtles. I grit my teeth, wince a little, and tell myself everything in moderation.
I think back to the shows that I watched when I was their age, to see if there was anything like it. I grew up on a steady diet of Gilligan's Island, Flipper, Bewitched and Get Smart. Granted, far from high-brow stuff, and while there was occasional mild violence (like Skipper whacking Gilligan with his hat), there was not a single show among them that was based solely on beating other people up.
As I dug a little deeper, I even began to imagine socially redeeming morals in the TV fare of my youth. Bewitched, for example, featured poor hapless Darren, a mortal married to perky Samantha, a witch. Every episode, Sam would ensnare Darren in some witchcraft-inspired bungle, despite Darren's insistence that he didn't want her to use her powers. Through it all, he never wavered in his belief that the mortal way was better. He did not ever ask Sam to make his life the tiniest bit easier with her twitching nose; rather he wanted her to enjoy the fruits of hard work and the passage of time with him. Maybe I'm reaching a bit, and I doubt the writers had such high-minded ideas when they sat down to put together the next episode.
My point is that the shows we watched, even the Bugs Bunny cartoons, which are remarkably violent, were not constructed around characters and story lines whose entire purpose was to be violent. Mostly they were shows with real people in them, as opposed to the glut of animated shows these days. And when we played F Troop in the back yard, I don't remember ever trying to kick anyone in the head.
"Encounters With Oedipus Rex" has finally made it to our pages. I met the author, Matthew Westra, in Kansas City last year, where he spoke on this very topic. I was fascinated, as I hope you'll be, and learned a great deal about my relationship with my son. I asked him to write the article, which he did, and I've been rudely bumping it down the list ever since. I am very happy to finally be able to present it to you, and I hope you find it as fascinating as I do.
On page 17 is Our First Photograph. That's me and Ben in the pool, goofing for the camera. We'd like to see your favorite pictures-you and the kids, the whole family, or whoever. Sharp, clear photos only, please. And please put your name and address on the back so we can return them! If you want more info, write or call me; we'll talk.
With our next issue, we begin what I hope will be an on-going investigation into the connection between involved fatherhood and the men's movement. The more I delve into my own fatherhood and manhood, the more I find the two inextricably linked. Becoming a father, and being a father, are integral to becoming and being a man. The men's movement and the fledgling fatherhood movement seem to be avoiding each other, and I think we would all learn a lot from getting together and discovering what issues and passions we have in common. Anyone who wants to contribute is, as usual, welcomed to, and anyone who wants more information about the issues that fuel the men's movement should get their hands on a copy of the Winter 1995 issue of Menstuff. This issue contains a succinct but thorough outline of the issues. The cover price is $3, though I'm sure they could use another $1 or so for postage. Write to:
National Men's Resource Center
P.O. Box 800-CL
San Anselmo, CA 94979.
Copyright 1994 Stephen Harris
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