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Full-Time Dads;
The Magazine for Caregiver Fathers
Issue 16, originally appeared in print - July 1995
Written in honor and memory of my father, Ernest James Davis (March 9, 1926--August 10, 1989).
Samuel Osherson, author of Finding Our Fathers, explains that "Fathers have been overlooked for too long, by their own sons as well as by psychologists and others analyzing the family."
It may well be that daughters are the ones who do recognize the true depth and strength of their fathers. Whether absent or present, fathers are important in the lives of their children.
Sometimes as marriages grow in years, partners grow apart. Sometimes separation takes fathers away. Sometimes divorce does. Sometimes travel does. Finally, death does.
Nevertheless, children do not forget their parents who travel, or who have passed away, nor do they divorce their parents. That love is always there. No matter who or what may try to deny it, to jeopardize it, to tarnish it, to stop it, to squelch it, or to steal it, the love a child feels remains. This love is steadfast.
Sometimes fathers are looked upon with little regard by their mates and other people, just as Osherson says. But many fathers are heroes to their daughters.
Daughters were gleeful that Father was there for their first steps. They were happy for him to scoop them up when they fell and scraped their knees.
They recall Dad teaching them to pitch a baseball-even though they were girls. They were pleased that he walked along beside them as they learned to ride a shiny, new bike.
Daughters always got a glimpse of Father in the audience for musicals and plays and sports events. They spied the look of joy in his eyes, no matter how modest or undramatic their parts were. They remember him in church. They were profoundly impressed by his honesty.
Daughters can easily call to mind the movies, the plays, the musicals, and the restaurants that they both liked. The scent of popcorn, lines from Shakespeare, the music of Tchaikovsky, the aroma of pecan waffles may bring Father back for a moment, even today.
Daughters knew Father's ambitions, his dreams, his goals. They also knew the good that he wished for them. They realized how he always wanted to protect them from harm and pain.
They witnessed Dad's challenges, his problems, his struggles. They saw his diligent efforts. They were keenly aware of his perseverance. They felt his pain.
Daughters were bedazzled by Dad's strength no matter what went wrong. They were impressed by his fairness.
They observed how hard Dad worked. They saw the sweat of his brow. They remember how he encouraged education and enlightenment. They felt his joy at graduations.
Daughters treasured the books he bought for them, the stories he read to them, the philosophies he shared with them. They savored their long chats with Dad. They relished the TV shows they watched together that made them chuckle or held them in suspense.
Daughters remember fishing with Dad in crystal lakes. They recall their target practices with pistols and rifles.
Daughters remember the sounds of the thundering tides and the squawks of seagulls in the distance as they strolled with their dads along white sandy beaches in the glow of the golden sun.
They enjoyed long drives in the country in autumn when the trees were ablaze in gold and bronze and red. Daughters were enchanted by airplane flights high in azure skies frosted with wispy white clouds, especially when Dad piloted the plane.
No matter what, daughters always remember their Dads. Daughters remember every lesson Dad taught them, every gift he gave them, and every encouraging word he spoke to them.
Fathers nurture, validate, and empower. Fathers strengthen their children-emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Even though some may ignore this fact, daughters always have known this. A daughter's appreciation and love remain even after the death of her cherished father.
Linda Davis Kyle is a Texas writer whose works have been published in North America, Europe, and the Orient.
Copyright 1994 Linda Davis Kyle
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