Glen Wade: An Activist Dad

An Interview by Steve Harris

Glen Wade: An Activist Dad

An Interview by Steve Harris

Reprinted from Full-Time Dads, Sept/Oct. 1995, No. 17

Glen Wade is, among other things, a nice guy. I've actually had the pleasure to meet Glen, something I've not been able to do with my other interviewees. His quiet, Texas drawl hides a drive to get things done, a drive which has resulted in not only the formation of a large, active fathers group across northern Texas, but also the newly born National At-Home Dads Association, of which he is Chairman. Not to mention the fact that he's a full-time dad...

GW: I started being a full-time dad right after my son, Alan, was born. We'd made the decision that one of us was going to stay home, and I was the one, because of the economic situation; I was making about half what my wife, Norma, was making.

FTD: That seems to be a pretty common reason for men staying home.: GW: My temperament seems to be better for it. I'm more easy going; my wife really likes the corporate challenge.
FTD: How long ago was this?: GW: Five years ago. I took off a few days to get him settled in, then went back to work for about two weeks. And then said, "Okay, see ya!"
FTD: What were you doing for work at the time?: GW: I was working for a small consulting firm, working with computer programming. I'd already notified them that I was going to be quitting, so it was, all right, it's time to go.
FTD: What did the guys at the office think of your decision?: GW: They were very supportive. It turned out to be a pretty good deal. After our son was born, I spent a lot of time in the house, looking at the four walls. I became kind of an instant celebrity in the neighborhood, here I am, the dad with the baby.
FTD: How does your wife handle all of this?: GW: She's kind of envious of me, which is totally understandable. I don't think she really feels the societal pressure to stay at home with her kids. Having me at home takes away the worry about kids in day-care.
FTD: Did you do any kind of paid work in between?: GW: Alan was about eight or nine months old, and I decided I was going to try to do some consulting work. I did that for a little while, 'til he was about a year old, and we found out we were going to have a second one [a daughter, Samantha, now 3.]. So it was like, there goes that idea.
FTD: How was it, working out of your home?: GW: I'd sneak away when he was asleep, then when he woke up, I'd hang out with him. I'd take him to the customer sites, to see how things were going.
FTD: That must have been great!: GW: Oh, yeah, all the women working there would say, "Oh, the baby!" They were very excited to see him.
FTD: I find that office work fulfills a part of me that I don't get from child care.: GW: You get this feeling that you're accomplishing something, when actually you're accomplishing more in taking care of the child.
FTD: Your son is five; do think he's aware of how unique it is to have his dad home full-time?: GW: Not really, we're pretty accepted in the neighborhood. It's no big deal. He hasn't known anything else.
FTD: He must see all the other dads in your fathers group.: GW: He knows there's other dads out there. We were interviewed by a local radio station about a year ago, and they asked Alan, "What do you think of having your dad stay home?" He said, "I love my dad because he stays home. I love my Mommy because she goes to work." It was very cute.
FTD: Tell me about your dads group. How did that get started?: GW: Bruce [Drobeck] and I started the group back in 1993. I saw an article about him in a newsletter, that he was trying to find other at-home dads. I called, and we got together with about seven or eight dads. That group sort of fell apart, and then about a year ago, the local major newspaper in Dallas did an article about our group, and several dads called. Once we were meeting at a park, and another dad came over and said, "Are you guys what I think you are?" He joined the group. We've got about thirty dads.
FTD: You've got guys from all over north Texas?: GW: It goes from Texarkana to a little town west of Ft. Worth called Lido. The North Texas At-Home Dads Network is what we call ourselves.
FTD: What is the big benefit to the group?: GW: The feeling that you're not alone. One guy came to his first meeting, and said he was at his wits' end. He was almost panicking. The second meeting he said, "I thought if I could make it 'til the end of the year, that would be great. Now, I think I can make it 'til two." And a little while later, he said, "I can make it as long as I need to. You guys are great." That's the whole idea.
FTD: Where did you get the idea for the National At-Home Dads Association?: GW: Bruce and I had been talking; he said he had talked to you, and to Bob Frank, about the need to do something, but we don't know what to do. I had found the Stay-At-Home dads on America On-Line. I realized there were dads across the country, but nobody had a national presence to be a forum for dads. I started talking to Bruce, and we thought of having a conference for dads: we can invite speakers and educators, make it a family thing. We talked to a woman who ran conventions, and she said if we're going to do this, we had to set up an organization to be the front for the conference. I started talking on-line with you and Bob and Peter Baylies and Curtis Cooper, and everybody said we'd like to have a national organization, but how do we go about it? I just said, let's just do it. And the rest is history.
FTD: What is your vision for the Association?: GW: To be a resource. Something that all the dads around the country can contact, "I'm looking for information about what is going on in my area, I need to get in contact with other dads. How do I go about forming a group? What resources do I have?" It's not really to go out and organize groups across the country, but an umbrella organization to assist local groups and individuals in any way possible.
FTD: Do you plan to be an at-home dad into the near future?: GW: I will be an at-home dad until my daughter gets into school. She's three, so I've got two years at least. If I do go back into the paid work force, I will make sure I'm always there when they get out of school.
FTD: What do think is special about what a dad gives to his kids?: GW: My kids have a better feeling about themselves. I don't know if it's because dads seem to give their kids more freedom; I'm close enough to catch them, but I don't hover around.
FTD: Do you find that to be the pattern with the dads in your group?: GW: Yeah. We tend to be more willing to let the kids go and do without restricting them.
FTD: Is there anything you think every father should know?: GW: If you're going to have kids, I think you have to be committed to those kids before you do anything else. I feel that fathers need to be more involved with their kids. We're taking it to the extreme.

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