Fathers Forum; Full-Time Dads Issue 24

Full-Time Dads;

The Magazine for Caregiver Fathers

Issue 24

Fathers Forum:

A Sample from our Mail Bag

Firstly, what a wonderful publication you have. I have just read your latest issue and was delighted by the quality of information and writing.

My mom found your web page address in a parenting magazine, and she forwarded it to me. I am a young full time dad of a 9 month old son who is the light of my life, along with his mother. I am 26 years old, living in Calgary, Canada with my wife who is a full time student. We are doing remarkebly well on extremely limited funds, and we wouldn't change our situation for all the money in the world.

I feel blessed to have such a wonderful son who has taught me so much in his short time here so far. I treasure every moment and because of this we are comitted to having only him, as we both feel that we could not do justice to more than one child, particularly as far as splitting the time goes.

We are an interracial couple, I being originally a white African and my wife being black African. I was born in South Africa and my wife hails from Ghana.

As a beginning full time dad, I don't read any parenting magazines. I find that most of them are strongly mainstream, and the simple fact that I am a full time dad puts me slightly on the fringe of mainstream society. Most of the articles in the parenting magazines are aimed at mothers, as is the advertising, and whether we like it or not advertisers dictate to some extent the information provided by the magazine.
The information on parenting that I have found most useful thus far has been from books in a limited way, and by instinct or gut feeling primarily. I have found my own inner voice to lead in the most peaceful and compassionate parenting, and I think this could be the key for all parents if we took the time to listen. Instead of being bombarded by parenting magazines' conflicting advice, and the corporate sponsorship that goes along with it, we should take time to listen to our souls. Corporations are not interested in our children except as consumers, and magazines driven by corporate ad dolllars are more interested in increasing subribers than in offering advice that may alienate mainstream audiences.

I have probably volounteered more information than you needed, but I hope you don't mind, I felt like sharing. Keep up the outstanding work.

Yours in fatherhood,
Jason Blacker.
pblacker@direct.ca

I am the father of two children, age 7 and age 3. I am married and my wife works. Until three years ago, I also worked. It would be nice to say that I chose to stay at home with my kids, but it really wasn't a choice. Three years ago, I had a bleed in my brain stem. After brain surgery and a lot of rehab, I tried to go back to work, but couldn't handle it. I still have enough disabilities that makes going to work impossible.

At first, we had a live-in babysitter when I returned from the hospital. Now with both kids in school, I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of the kids. I still need a housekeeper to handle a lot of the house work.

I quickly looked at your newsletter. I liked the little Bits section. I would like to hear about what other full-time at-home dads do to cope with being different from the norm. Do they feel comfortable being the only guy at the park with their kids, or being the only male at playdates or playgroups?

Thanks for the forum.
Harry

Finally, a resource for at-home and single fathers. This is a neglected area of parenting that is now, hopefully, getting some recognition and funding. Fathers are fully one-half of the parenting equation yet their contributions are generally unappreciated and often demeaned. I am a psychologist and 45yr old father of a 9yr old daughter who is contemplating redirecting my practice toward single fatherhood issues. Information has been difficult to find and your page is a welcome discovery. Please add me to any relevant mailing lists that you may be aware of.

Doug & Eschelle (& Puss, our cat).
puss@siwash.bc.ca

I have just found your site and find it exciting. I am a father of two, a 3 year old daughter, a 11 month old son. I am particularly interested in contacting the kind of fathers who are interested in the issues you are dealing with. The article I just read about becoming a father and learning about friendships really hit home.

Tim Chris
indigo@saltspring.com

There are many who are threatened by men taking active involvement in their family, again. There were times that the man was the head of the family, both monitarily and spiritually. Men have abdicated their responsibilies too much. Our inroads will certainly benefit our families and we must all be proud of them.
At least now that my children are older (5 and 11), I no longer get the "watching the kids today" statements. It is ok for us to "watch" the older kids, but the baby and toddler care made us suspect. I still get the "what do you do for a living" questions followed by "what did you do before" (people try to bring what you and I do on a level they can understand). I think that I am entering the stage where people see someone home and are tapping my talents (church, library, the kindergarden teacher, etc.).

Your brother,
Louis
zaczkiewicz@internetmci.com

I'm Editor In Chief of TWINS Magazine. Does anybody out there have twins, triplets or more and want to write a regular column or feature in our magazine? e-mail me or write to me at TWINS Magazine, 5350 S Roslyn St, Ste 400, Englewood CO 80111. I'd love to see a resume and any clips of things you've written if you've ever been published. We took over the magazine in July of this year and I'd like to find another dad to write regularly about parenting multiples.
Thanks. Susan J. Alt
salt@businessword.com

Just finished my first on-line issue of FTD. I enjoyed it, but it would have been a little easier if there were a "linear" option to read it. With my browser, I had to go "back" after reading each article, and choose the next, rather than moving ahead to the "next" article or poem.
Anyway, I've finally added FTD to my bookmarks and expect to be back soon.
Good work!
David Wean wean@tiac.net

Drop us a line. Tell us what you think. Send us e-mail. Vent, rant, babble, explain, whine, ponder, advise, etc. BE FOREWARNED!! All correspondance will be considered for publication unless you tell us not to. Also, we'll include your e-mail address, unless you tell us not to.

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