"MODERN DAD"
Despite all the noise in recent years created by various fathering factions, the
Traditional Dad is still alive and well, and still in the majority. Defined as the primary
breadwinner of the family, he leaves the house during
the daylight hours, and returns home in the evenings and is usually home on the weekends.
The good news about this dad is he is now spending more of those hours with his children.
However this traditional dad is more a modern dad than a classic dad. He came into being
after the Industrial Revolution.
Prior to the shift form agriculture to industry the fathers were
traditionally responsible for the bulk of a child's upbringing, after they had
been weaned and trained. During the colonial period, fathers were the primary
parents and had ultimate say in matters of the child. As the primary parent, fathers had
multiple roles: provider, moral overseer, disciplinarian, companion, and teacher.
Children, particularly boys, spent the day with their fathers, in the field, or hunting,
or building or whatever he did. In the rare
case of divorce, the law awarded custody to the father(although it should be noted that
children were considered more like property and it was believed that mothers were too
emotional and too indulgent to properly raise children!)
The advent of urbanization and industrial-ization in the 19th
century
redefined the roles of mothers and fathers. The role of fathers became predominantly that
of the provider, while mothers became the parent with primary responsibility for children,
including their moral development, and for ensuring the smooth operation of the household.
Somewhere between the Industrial Revolution and the World Wars,
fatherhood had gotten lost in the shuffle. Dads were commandeered to man the factories,
build the commodities and defend the country. After WWII, dad became more vital to the
Nation's GNP (Gross National Product) than to the family PCG (parental care giving). All
those stressful hours on the job had created the invention of leisure time – to keep
dad from being boring (all work and no play, and all that jazz) or more likely, to keep
him from
exploding. His energies needed to be focused on the Country's Economy, not necessarily his
family's welfare. Slowly, dad was getting squeezed out of the house.
During this time, the role of mothers expanded in some respects and
narrowed in others. As the homemakers, women became increasingly isolated from life
outside the family. The contributions that they had made to the economic well-being of the
family, such as assisting in the raising of crops, weaving, and producing of household
goods, had all but ended. Except for a brief fling
in the 1940's, when women replaced the men in the work force during the war, that role
prevailed until the 1950's. In the sixties, the Women's Movement began to change all
that, and today women are again participating in the economic welfare of the family. But,
in the meantime, the children were shoved aside and the next two decades saw a severe
decline in the family.
Now, in the nineties, Fathers have reasserted themselves into the
day to day
operations of their family, not just by spending more time at home but also by
spending all or most of their time at home. The latter would be the Housedad (SAHD) –
the gender equivalent of a housewife (Mr. Mom) and the at home dad – he who works
from home (WAHD).
The term "co-parents" is often used to describe the
situation where mothers and fathers share equally the responsibilities of maintaining a
family. I believe the "co" prefix to be redundant. Parents is defined as the
Mother and Father of a child. Parenting is the raising of the child. They both should do
it, and they both are doing it . . .
Same as it always been!
