THE FATHERHOOD MOVEMENT
"for all pretense and purposes"
In several articles discussing the recent upswing in fatherhood in this
country, one of the reasons sited was the Fatherhood Movement. Just to set the record
straight, the fatherhood movement is a myth, and I ought to know, for I am alleged to be
one of its leaders. With that said, let me explain what is going on out there.
There is motion afoot, individual dads are doing it, but there is no
movement, although some groups are shouting about it. These groups do a great job of
calling attention to themselves, which implies a movement, and lends an air of importance,
but too often they lack any real substance beyond the occasional sound bite or press
release. They are groups of individuals, with personal goals, agendas and motives or they
are groups with specialized motives and not representative of all, or even most, fathers.
Since there is little money to be gained or earned from all of this,
greed does not seem to factor into it. More often, the motive is ego, the need
to make a name for "leader" or to draw attention to themselves. And, it is also
this Ego that keeps the groups from joining together; everyone wants to lead.
There is no leadership, and no cohesion. There is no cohesion
between/amongst the leaders. There is no National Organization, or committee not even a
clearinghouse. There are no annual meetings, conventions or symposiums. New groups are
popping up as quickly as the old groups fade away. I know this because eventually they all
get around to contacting Full-Time Dads. (Last year I was contacted by three different
groups looking to organize
a "Take Your Son to Work Day" and two others who were countering with a take
your child to work day. None were aware of the others and none seemed interested in
joining forces and the event never occurred.
There is a "Men's Movement," guys trying to regain their
masculinity in today's society. It has been around since the women's movement started to
have an impact and grew stronger and more vocal with the "Iron John" phenomena.
Fatherhood is a part of their stance, but secondary to their overall agenda.
Perhaps, the most vocal of these groups are the housedads, single dads and divorced dads.
There have been several attempts to create a National At-Home Dads Organization, however
the very name has caused a controversy. They wish to become the National Voice of
fatherhood, and considering their "In the Trenches" role, it is probably a good
idea. But, every attempt has failed and most likely will continue to do so. There is an
annual At Home Dad convention, but of the estimated two million potential attendees, fewer
than 100 show up. However, there is the Dads to Dads organization, that has met with some
success but it has no board, bylaws, dues, or any of the trappings of a true organization.
Dad To Dad consists of totally autonomous localized
groups, who's only affiliation is the name. And even with its limited success, there are
still attempts by fledgling organizations to compete with it.
There are many Fathers Rights Groups which deal with Divorce and Custody
laws and often limited to the State Level. (Even on the State and local levels there are
often several groups working separately from each other and
sometimes against each other.) Some of these groups are so angry, volatile and openly
hostile that they are dismissed out of hand and cause credibility problems for the others.
Several attempts have been made to create a national
organization of these individual groups but always the organizer insists that each follow
under his *banner*. As should have been expected this met with much reluctance. After all,
we all know how us guys can be about our flagpole.
And even greater oddity to the Father's Rights Movements is that they
are often started and run by women. Many (myself included) question the
motives and reasons behind this. To support and participate in such a cause as father's
rights, is understandable, even noble – many men were active in the Women's Rights
Movement. But hearing a woman speak passionately about
Fatherhood is much like listening to a man speak, in depth, about childbirth.
