Father's World

Joseph Cordell,J.D.

Past Questions

Current Questions and Answers

NOTE: Information contained in this site is intended to help fathers who are involved in the divorce process. It should not, however, be construed as legal advice. For personal legal advice, please consult your attorney.

Q: My step children, ages 14 and 15 and who have moved out of my house (3 years and 6 months ago respectfully) after approx 10 years of living with me and my wife, are filing suit for visitation with my natural son, age 7. My wife and I, the mother of all three, are against any visitation. Is there any case law relating to forcing natural parents to give visitation to minor half siblings which I can review?

Asked by Charles in Virginia

A: As a Missouri attorney I can't tell you anything about Virginia case law, but I can give you a few ideas.

First of all, many states (like mine) do have laws allowing for courts to order visitation with unrelated third parties, or relatives who are not the parents. However, in my experience courts tend to be very reluctant to allow visitation with unrelated third parties, and only slightly less reluctant to order visitation with other relatives. (Grandparents are an exception; most if not all states have separate grandparent visitation statutes, but that only proves my point. If the general visitation statute allows visitation to be granted to relatives, why have a separate grandparent's statute unless they are to be treated differently from other relatives?) The reason why courts don't frequently grant third party visitation is that the wishes of the parents are considered paramount, to be overridden only in extraordinary circumstances. That having been said, there are some facts missing from your question. I assume that the step children are now living with their father? Does this mean that your wife, their mother, does not want to see the older children at all? Or does she want to see them, but keep them away from the 7 year old? A court, in making a decision, will look at all the facts. If it appears that you and your wife are not acting in the children's best interests by keeping these siblings (half-siblings) separated, the court may be more likely to grant visitation (although I still think it's unlikely). Courts do frown on splitting siblings in custody cases. However, if you have good reasons for your wishes, the court is not likely to override them.

As far as finding case law, I suggest you first find your state's visitation/custody statute (we have some links on this site that can help you locate it.) Then, go to your friendly neighborhood law library (at the courthouse or a local law school), and look up the statute in West's annotated statutes for your state. Following the statute will be a list of case summaries (called "headnotes") sorted by category. There should be a category in there listing cases that have dealt with third party visitation. This is assuming, of course, that Virginia is a state that allows courts to order such visitation.

Q: My ex was awarded the house in our divorce agreement but she has since not made the payments and the mortgage company is going to foreclose(I called them). If I showed an interest in the property to either sell or do something with the house my ex could 'pull' me into court and exploit this I believe since the court decided I no longer have an interest in this property, but, the mortgage company holds me liable at the same time. What can I do if anything?

A: This is an unfortunately common situation. A court can award a mortgaged property to one party (and frequently does), but cannot order a bank to take the other party's name off the mortgage. If the property was awarded to your ex-wife, then it's hers and you have no property interest in it. In Missouri this is so even if you never signed a quit-claim deed, so long as she filed a certified copy of the judgment with the recorder of deeds for the county in which the house is located (I have verified that this is so with the St. Louis County Recorder of Deeds a few years ago.) Therefore I think you cannot sell the house. You should check your divorce decree and look for a "hold harmless" clause. This is a part of the divorce decree that says that if you are held responsible for the mortgage, you can look to your ex to repay you, and is routinely contained in orders of this type. Not that she likely can actually do so, but this gives you a "hook" to get her to sell the house and pay off the mortgage. To save your credit rating you may want to consider making at least enough of a payment to save the house from foreclosure, then making demand on your ex to repay you under the "hold harmless" clause, then hauling her into court on a contempt motion when she fails to do so. That might provide her with some incentive to sell the house and get out from under this situation.

Q: I have only been married 1.5 years and we have a newborn baby (1-mos). My life is miserable in marriage because her parents are/have been very meddling and it has caused tremendous stress (classic I hate my mother in law). I am lost and would like to go on our separate ways but I do not want to lose my relationship with my new daughter. If my wife leaves me she will move in with her parents ands take my child with her. What can I do to stop her from doing this/taking the child? What do I do to make sure that this goes my way? Is there a list of questions to ask an attorney that will tell me if they are the best? Any help would be appreciated? I am very confused right now!

Asked by a father in NY

A: While I don't want to sound too much like a salesman, given how general your question is I think that you are a prime candidate to purchase our book "Civil War: A Dad's Guide to Custody". If you are seeking an overview of information about the situation you describe, this book will be very helpful. Also, our audio tape series "Dad's Law School" will give you much information about the legal process. Both are available in our online store.

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Joseph Cordell, J.D. founded Cordell & Cordell in 1990 after a brief stint with a major law firm. Originally a general practice firm focusing its attention on domestic relations matters, Cordell & Cordell has evolved into a firm practicing exclusively domestic relations law, with an overwhelming emphasis on fathers' rights. For more information you can visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com/ or if you have a question that you would like answered http://www.dadsdivorce.com/phorum/list.php?f=16&collapse=0

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